Calculated Compatibility
My previous article on the tree of life mentioned about how each person has a different mastery tree, and how high a person’s level is depends on how developed his tree is. In this article, we aim to examine if the development of a person’s mastery tree affects his/her compatibility with those around him/her.
We shall first split the traits of a person into extrinsic and intrinsic traits. The sum of these traits determines your perceived level and your actual level.
Perceived level = What people think your actual level is, which is mostly based off your extrinsic level.
Actual level = Your actual level when combining your extrinsic and intrinsic level.
Extrinsic traits include but are not limited to: Looks, confidence, wealth, wit etc. Basically, your extrinsic traits are what people see and discover upon meeting you and having a short conversation.
Intrinsic traits include but are not limited to: Tenacity, kindness, wisdom, loyalty. Intrinsic traits are what people only discover after knowing you for a long period of time.
People spend most of their time honing their extrinsic traits, because first impressions count. Gelling your hair, putting on makeup, or simply building up a stable career, these form part of our extrinsic traits that we spend much time levelling up.
On the other hand, intrinsic traits are given less focus, simply because it is relatively harder to level up those traits, and also because the immediate rewards for improving these traits are less apparent. Working for a noble cause such as serving the community, the simple act of thanking the cleaners that you pass by, or buying food back for your parents, these are actions where continued effort plays a part in developing one’s intrinsic traits.
When two people meet, the first thing they notice about a person is his/her extrinsic level, which plays a huge part in their perceived level. Each person has a threshold that determines what level they deem fit for a potential relationship. As long as the other party is above each other’s threshold level, they are willing to date each other to find out more.
So, why is it that different people face attraction differently? Each person possesses their own multiplier to a certain trait. For example, if a person values wealth, he/she would place a higher multiplier on the wealth factor, and people that do possess a relatively higher degree of wealth will appear more desirable. Each trait has a multiplier, and the perceived level is the sum of all the extrinsic levels times the various multiplier. Not discounting the affinity multiplier, love at first sight sometimes does occur, and that multiplier is one with a pretty heavy weightage.
As two people spend more time with each other, their perceived level of each other starts to shift closer towards the actual level of a person. For the many whose intrinsic levels are lower than that of their extrinsic levels (thus having a lower actual level than initial perceived level), their perceived level will start to fall, and vice versa. Soon enough, the perceived level starts to fall below the threshold, and both parties/one party starts to lose interest, wondering what happened to the Mr/Ms Perfect he/she used to date. This point is where most break-ups occur, and each go their separate ways looking for someone whose level matches their threshold.
You might believe that physical values/numbers should not be allocated to each person, and that the idea of love transcends mathematical boundaries. However, the point that I am trying to bring across is that, working on your extrinsic traits will certainly help you in getting into a relationship and meeting society’s expectations of you (showing your friends that you aren’t destined to be forever alone). What matters more at the end of the day is whether you are able to sustain the relationship, and such sustenance not only requires effort to be put into the other party, but also to oneself to ensure that his/her intrinsic level remains better than his/her extrinsic level.
So, if you are feeling alone or desperate for a relationship, take a step back, focus on levelling yourself up, and treat yourself better. When your time comes, you will be better able to make it last.
What if our lives were made up of numbers and figures?